


Me and the Ood

by orphan_account



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Background Het, Episode: s07e00 Pond Life, Gen, Memory Loss, Rescue Missions, Retcon (Torchwood), Tea
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-20
Updated: 2016-03-20
Packaged: 2018-05-27 19:28:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,051
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6297142
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Doctor accidentally left an Ood on Earth. Me's found him. (Me [Ashildr], Rory/Amy, Eleventh Doctor, Ood [specifically the one seen in "Pond Life"].</p>
            </blockquote>





	Me and the Ood

**Author's Note:**

> It just hit me that, upon looking at canon well after I had written this, I really feel I missed the mark with (Ashildr/)Me with this fic, which is why I'm orphaning this.
> 
> This was originally written for a ficathon, but I'd prefer that, if you link to this fic past the day I orphaned this [11/5/2016], to not attach my LJ/DW/AO3 name to this fic. Thank you.

The Androvax Conflict was still being waged on the Ood Sphere. The Doctor saw the conflict and knew he needed help to stop Androvax firing upon the Ood. He didn't realize that, while he was leaving the planet to try and get help from Amy and Rory, he left the TARDIS door open. 

When the TARDIS left the Ood Sphere, the Doctor noticed an Ood standing in the TARDIS doorway. "May I be of any assistance?" the Ood asked. 

"You! Ood! What are you doing in my TARDIS?" 

"May I be of any assistance?" 

"No, no, I don't need any assistance. Just stand there and don't run off." 

The Ood didn't run off.

 

When the Doctor arrived at the Ponds' home, he realized he was too early in the Ponds' time stream to pick them up. The last time he picked them up, they had left party decorations up outside. The decorations weren't up at the moment. The Doctor ran back to the TARDIS console and materialized away from the Ponds' home. 

But before the TARDIS left the Ponds' home, the Ood walked out of the TARDIS. He walked to the Ponds' home and rung the doorbell. 

Amy opened the door. She was puzzled as to why there was no one at the door. 

She didn't realize the Ood walked into her house while she wasn't looking. 

 

Me passed by the Ponds' home when she saw an Ood in one of their windows. She walked backwards towards the house to make sure she wasn't imagining things. When she saw the Ood again, she knew she wasn't confusing whatever memories she could recall in that moment. 

Me walked closer to the window she saw the Ood in, being careful not to attract the attention of the people who were in the room with the Ood. Me could see how uncomfortable the couple were as the Ood poured them coffee, calling it "infusions." Upon seeing the couple, she realized they were Amy Pond and Rory Williams. 

Me didn't know Amy or Rory personally. But by tracking the Doctor's movements through time she knew Amy and Rory were two of the Doctor's companions. And it was obvious that an Ood on Earth would be the Doctor's doing. Any other renegade Time Lord would've done something to the Ood before it could even reach another planet, let alone Earth. Me knew she had to get the Ood out of the Ponds' home. And she had an idea. 

 

Me went back to her street and picked up a couple of things she kept in a small bag. She hung around in Amy and Rory's neighbourhood until it was tea time. Then she went back to Amy and Rory's house. 

Me rung the Ponds' doorbell. She wasn't surprised when the Ood answered the door. "May I be of any assistance?" the Ood asked. 

"The Ponds invited me for tea," Me said. 

"Tea. Is that an infusion?" 

Me nodded. "Yes, it is an infusion. The Ponds are fond of it as they are coffee." 

"Come in. I will make you this infusion." 

 

Me had the Ood prepare Earl Grey tea for Amy, Rory, and herself in their kitchen. While the Ood wasn't looking, and before Amy and Rory appeared in their kitchen, Me slipped eight ounces of Retcon in Amy and Rory's drinks. Me acquired the Retcon while she was rescuing a weakened Cyberman in the ruins of Torchwood One. 

Amy and Rory were startled Me was sitting at their kitchen table drinking tea. "Who are you and what are you doing in our kitchen?" Amy's face was turning red. 

"I'm a friend of your Ood," Me said. 

"He's not our friend. He walked into our house and he hasn't left yet." 

"I can see that. I am Me." 

"Yeah, I know you're you, but what's your name?" 

"I told you. I am Me. I had a name. I've had many names. But I've forgotten them because I've lived so long. It is easier to call myself Me than to give myself names to anyone who has ever known me. So call me Me." 

"How have you lived so long? Are you a Time Lady or some sort of alien or something?" 

"The Doctor made me who I am. I can never forget that. Now sit. Let's have tea." 

"Your friend said you two would like this infusion," the Ood said. 

"Sit with me," Me said. "Your tea is getting cold." 

"Do you have the feeling we've reached new levels of awkwardness?" Rory whispered to Amy. 

Amy shrugged. "It can't be any worse than the Ood making us coffee we didn't want," she whispered back. "Let's have tea." 

Amy and Rory sat down at the table. They sipped the Earl Grey the Ood prepared for them. 

"So, uh, Me?" Amy asked. 

Me nodded. 

"How do you know the Doctor?" 

"I honestly don't remember much. I did something for him and I almost died years ago, well before you both were born. He resurrected me with a Mire repair kit he altered to fix me." 

Rory shook his head. "Have we encountered the Mire, Amy?" 

"I don't think so, Rory." 

"Good thing you haven't encountered them. They're the worst warrior race in the galaxy. They're lousy fighters. They only appear intimidating because of their stolen weaponry. But, as I was saying, once the Doctor resurrected me, I stopped dying. I don't think I ever will die because the repair kit keeps repairing me." 

"You're lying," Amy said. "The Doctor would never do that." 

Me nodded. "On the contrary, the Doctor is the type of man who would do that. He's never been fond of endings. When you're a Time Lord as old as he is, constantly seeing his companions leaving him, dying in his charge, sometimes being forced to forget who he is, you'd be adverse to endings, too." 

"I still don't believe you." 

"I knew you wouldn't. It's hard to prove you have a repair kit inside your body without x-rays or literally killing yourself. I'd like to leave with your Ood without making a mess out of your kitchen." 

Amy stood up. "You're not taking that Ood anywhere." 

"Right now the Doctor and a River Song are on the Ood Sphere, attempting to stop the Androvax Conflict. That is how this particular Ood has ended up on Earth. The Doctor has a history of being irresponsible. If he was responsible, this Ood would be back on the Ood Sphere and not here. I have to get this Ood out of your house and to a place where he can live safely away from the Doctor." 

Rory stood up. He gasped. "That's our daughter." 

"I didn't know River Song was your daughter. Honestly, she doesn't _look_ like your daughter." 

"It's complicated," Rory said. "The Doctor would say it's timey-wimey." 

Amy grabbed Rory's hand. "River's going to be okay, Rory." 

"That's what the tea's for," Rory said. "To calm our nerves." 

Amy and Rory finished their tea. As soon as they were done, Amy grabbed her head. "Rory, I'm starting to feel dizzy." Her words began to sound slurred. 

"I--" Rory tried to speak. Instead, he gripped his head as well. 

"I've told you too much about myself," Me said as Amy and Rory were starting to be affected by the Retcon. "I'm from the Doctor's future. If he knew I met you, time might be at risk of tearing apart. The only way I could ensure this Ood's safety from the Doctor was to wipe both of your memories. When you wake up, you won't remember the last day you spent with your Ood or me. You'll only notice your Ood is gone. I'm sorry." 

Amy and Rory collapsed on their dining room table. 

Me turned to the Ood. "Can you help me tuck Amy and Rory into bed? They don't deserve to wake up in this way." 

"I can assist you in your tasks," the Ood said. "But I do not approve of you tainting my infusions for your own means," the Ood said. 

"I don't approve of the Doctor's actions. That's why I watch him. I have to keep the Earth safe from him. If that means tainting your infusions for my own means, to prevent the destruction of all of time and space, so be it." 

Just as Me was going to leave the Ponds' home with the Ood, she heard the TARDIS. "Damn it," she whispered to herself. Me turned to the Ood. 

"I will be forced to do great harm to you if you attempt to taint my infusions again." 

"I won't be doing that, Ood. I need you to stay in here. I'll meet with the Doctor. I have a surprise for him." 

"You will not harm the Doctor." 

"I promise I won't harm the Doctor." 

 

Me stood outside the Ponds' home as the Doctor was exiting his TARDIS. She was wearing white gloves and was holding a teacup and a saucer. 

"Hello," the Doctor said. "You're at the Ponds'. You're not a Pond. Where are the Ponds? Did you do anything to them?" 

"You must be the Doctor." 

The Doctor walked up the stairs to meet Me. "Yes. How did you know?" 

"I'm good friends with the Ponds." 

"Oh. Why are you holding one of their teacups?" 

"I borrowed it from them. I was going to return it to them, but they appear to be out." 

"I can take it to them. I can pop in the very next day right now and drop it off while they're in." The Doctor pointed to the TARDIS. "You can go off and do whatever it is you usually do." 

"Thank you, Doctor." 

The Doctor took the teacup. He was unaware Me put a memory worm inside the cup. The memory worm crawled onto the Doctor's hand. Upon contact, the Doctor collapsed on the stairs. Me managed to grab his head before it hit the stairs. 

After laying his head down gently on the stairs, Me grabbed the memory worm and placed it in a glass container. She slid the glass container in her bag. She stooped down to the Doctor's ear and whispered: "You picked up the Ood and took him back to the Ood Sphere. The Ponds weren't around, so they never saw you." 

Me called for the Ood. The Ood appeared at the Ponds' door. When the Ood appeared at the door, Me pulled out a device from her bag. Once activated, the device created a perception filter around the Ood, making him look like a human male instead of an Ood to passers-by. 

"What happened to the Doctor?" 

"He had an accident. We need to take him back to his TARDIS. And, knowing you, you'll sweep up that shattered teacup." 

"I like to be of assistance." 

 

Me explained everything the Ood would need to know once they arrived at her street. Me was the mayor of this street. She had been hiding on the street for several years, finding creatures trapped on Earth that humans weren't meant to see. Me told him about the available lodgings on the street as well as who to contact in case intruders arrived on the street. 

But the Ood didn't pay attention to Me. He saw a Cyberman sitting in a shop, motionless. 

"That's a Cyberman I saved back in 2007. The Doctor thought he had sent all the Cybermen back to an alternate dimension. He was wrong. I found this Cyberman. He's still alive, but I haven't been able to make him operate on his own." 

"I have experience working with cyborg masters," the Ood said. "I can bring this Cyberman back to life." 

"If you can bring him back to life without him terrorizing the street, you are free to work with him whenever you like." 

The Ood went to the Cyberman. He connected wires to the Cyberman and increased the power on a battery-operated device in the store. The Cyberman slowly came back to life. Once he was powered up, he turned to the Ood. "Thank you," the Cyberman said. "Need oil." 

"I can be of assistance." 

Me was pleased with what she had seen between the Ood and the Cyberman. She left the two to work on fixing the Cyberman.


End file.
